Making some space

 

I hate my job. (What a nice way to start a post. I think everybody hates their job at one point.)

I don’t think I actually hate it. It can be fun sometimes, but I get bored easily and I think I need something more challenging. So, I took a week off. Again. I need some time for myself to reevaluate my priorities, my needs. But every time I go back to work I forget about why I wanted to leave it in the first place and, instead, think “but it’s not that bad”. And I continue to work there for another 3 months, until I get sick of it and I need another break. This has happened for more than a year now. I’m starting to get exhausted and I believe I must end this circle. Thing is, I’m living in a small town and there’s not much to do. I don’t want to leave this place either. And I’m stuck in a loop. 

I lived for 5 years in a big city and I hated it. I hated the big crowd of people I always wanted to avoid.  I hated how much time consuming it was to get to the University or to get to the library or to any important place. Everything was so far away. I was used to have all that I needed in my reach. 

And I was alone. I couldn’t find anyone with the same interests like me. All of my colleagues were into weird trends, music that has no meaning for me, movies that I hate, books that I would never touch and so on. I like history and conspiracies and creepy pasta and video games and Stephen King. I like sitting outside, not smoking pot and drinking until I forget who I am. Instead, I’d rather have a telescope to observe the sky until dawn. All of my real friends, all those that matter, were back home or scattered around the country. 

Now that I’m back, most of them left. And I hate my job. 

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