Sometimes, nights can be excruciatingly long when dreams are trying to torment you. Have you ever had a dream that woke you up in the middle of the night and continued after you fell back asleep? If the emotions were pretty intense, you could feel the after-effects for the whole next day.
Some dreams can send a shiver up your spine and make you think about the grim features of life. Some dreams can make living outside your mind or so deeply submerged within your own thoughts that you can’t tell the difference anymore. Some dreams can make you feel like a ghost running through life, afraid of your own shadow.
These wild nights are a call for the comforting blindness of ignorance. Some things are better left unknown. Thoughts can break you into pieces and, for the most part, you can’t escape your own mind.
This night showed me that I gave up on dreams I’d never even realized I had. And, as time flows continuously like a river, never to return or stop, these dreams are forever lost. Thinking about what I could’ve been, what I could’ve done, letting opportunities pass me by, leaves a hole inside of me. Maybe this isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it makes room for the future, but how do you know which version of you is better?
What is life but a series of trials and errors? The self will always be in chaos, always torn between pain and joy. What is, what it could’ve been… And we’ll never know the answer…