Take your time

Isn’t it ironic how a bad day or some bad news can change you in a matter of seconds, while if you are looking for happiness you have to work hard to achieve it? Happiness requires energy, a desire to live, to move. Just like updating your Windows, happiness has to meet some requirements to be able to manifest in your life. And when you’re so deep in the dark, light seems out of reach, a being from another planet.

You try and try to capture it, and when it fails to appear after so many trials and errors, you get tired and feel the need to crawl back to bed and sleep for an eternity.

Lost time can never be retrieved, but when it comes to healing, it’s important not to rush things. You have to make the necessary changes slowly, gradually, to create new habits that would stick around for the long run.

Just like changing seasons.

My healing journey began about 5 years ago when I took the conscious decision to welcome life back into my body. It’s been a very steep journey. Everything hurt, physically and mentally, but taking it step by step, right from the bottom, allowing myself to accept my condition and acknowledge my needs, turned it from an impossible journey to an achievable one.

Also, after getting my first job after graduating I had to put on a daily mask. And it wasn’t a matter of “fake it till you make it”, but the forced smiles actually tricked my brain into believing that everything was going well. Of course, I was lying to myself, and from time to time I got tired from faking it and this would send me spiraling back down. I hit rock bottom more times than I can count, but I allowed myself a day or two to disconnect and put myself together.

It is more difficult to be happy than to be miserable, but you mustn’t give up. Take your time, and slowly light will eventually appear and it will be so bright, so warm, that you’ll never want to go back to the darkest parts of your mind ever again.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. lynnfay73 says:

    Yeah, you don’t really achieve happiness full time. Not the human condition. And you bounce back faster if you don’t beat yourself up in the down times–sometimes they are useful for sorting, as you say. Emotional pain is just like physical pain — just like we move a hand from a hot stove, emotional pain means we need to move something. Still, people who are happy all the time are either liars, actors, or stupid. No exceptions. Some people are happier than others, though, but writers tend to be introspective — it takes time to sort to do that. The sooner people stop being perfectionists, the easier it is to come closer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. moonraven44 says:

      “Still, people who are happy all the time are either liars, actors, or stupid.” or pure ignorants. I think it’s impossible to be happy-happy, joy-joy all the time without acknowledging all that’s happening around us.


  2. Self-care can be work and also fun. People who suffer from depression do have setbacks (known fact). It’s a good practice to disconnect. I applaud you for your decisions.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very well said. I have been to the point where I hated the guy in the mirror. It takes daily, hourly, work. Even a minute at a time. But one must start because staying where you are is no longer an option. “Let the cracks in us be where the light comes out”- a fave of mine. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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