Isn’t it weird how the past can come back and become your present?
What is time? Is it only a concept, a measuring system, some numbers that tell our age? Without space, there’s no time. Still, we cannot touch it, or smell it, or change it in any way. We might have different perceptions about it. Time flows differently for everyone because we are the ones changing, but time remains the same. We can only bend it through memory, and not necessarily ours.
I met an old friend some days ago and it was great seeing her. We talked for hours, but not about how we’ve been. We talked as if all those years we’ve been apart never even happened. It’s been more than 7 years since I last saw her or talk to her. We randomly found each other again and we just continued from where we left off.
It took me back to a time I thought I had lost. To the simplicity and beauty of just laying on the sand near the river, even if it was cold, and just having a random talk with a good friend. Everything felt like before, more than a decade ago. What was I missing more? The person I was talking to? The person I used to be? Or that period of my life when I was just starting to discover, to explore life?
Seeing her grabbed me violently back to when we were just kids, living a life stripped of the worries of adulthood. It was no longer 2021, but somewhere around 2004. It felt like an astral projection. My body was still in the present time, but my spirit was far, far away. And it pulled me to not only a different time but also another space. I was beginning to doubt the ground beneath me.
Her voice brought back memories of listening to classic rock in her dad’s car while outside was pouring. Or the smell of apple pie in her grandpa’s home while I was giving my parents a call to let them know where I was. Memories of terrifying storms, the sky erupting, cracking through incredibly scary lightning strikes. Such crazy days, even the weather was different. Or the beat of my heart.
Time… Time is relative. And if time had a corporeal form, any kind of shape, I think it would kick my ass. I’ve been disrespecting time and blaming it for… mostly everything that went wrong in my life, when in fact it was just me.