Usually, by the time you’re 30, you have you’re entire life figured out. You may already be married and have children, a fixed career path, a house, financial stability, maybe even seen half of the world, met a lot of people and learned something valuable from their life stories. I don’t fit at all in this category. The only thing that gets me closer to the description of a 30 year old woman is living with my sweet better half for almost 12 years. We don’t have kids, but we have 2 adorable cats.
The financial stability evaporated when I had my meltdown and quit my job 2 months ago, we don’t own our house, we are still paying rent and I don’t have a planned career, mainly because of my fear of failure.
Therefore, as my 20s are coming to an end, I feel anxious and pressured by the things I didn’t manage to achieve. Everyone around me seems like they have it all figured out, except for me. I’ve always dreamed about doing something meaningful (and meaningful, for me, meant writing), but anxiety, depression and fear petrified my legs. Instead of growing tall, I am slowly disintegrating into the earth, since the moment I got aware of my existence.
I want to move faster. I need to move faster. I have to reach my goals so I won’t have to face my regrets. But thinking and visualizing the number 30 makes me feel like my time has gone, that I failed at life and nothing would become of me. I feel old, passed… I feel the pressure of a number.
Is 30 too late to start living your life?
Writing, Reading, Living, but mostly Hiding 
I’m of the opinion that no one starts living until they are at least 30. Most people who appear to have their lives together have often simply gone through the motions. More and more people are having mid life crises for this reason. The truth is we shouldn’t settle until we know for sure what we want/where we fit in society. 30 is just a number. In fact, that’s all it is. Don’t fret. Wishing you well 🙏
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Thank you so much for your kind words. It brightened my day. I just feel pressured by the amount of things I wish to accomplish and I can’t figure out how to make my dreams come true. Maybe 30 is just a number, but I feel threatened by the passing of time.
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I feel ya – I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot, but not in the areas I necessarily feel I should have. Then again, I realise that might simply be because my priorities have changed as I’ve aged. What I wanted to chase in my twenties I no longer want. That might continue to change indefinitely. My advice is to set goals but don’t pay too much attention to them or get to hung up on what the end result should be or what you think you should have accomplished already. It’s more important to make sure you’re enjoying the process – the journey – today! It’s cliche but so so true. By getting hung up on what we should have achieved we end up pressuring ourselves and not enjoying the process. This is not only self-defeating it prevents of us from seeing what we really need to concentrate on – the here and now. Do that, and time and age kinda becomes irrelevant. I hope my words offer some kind of insight. Wishing you well 🙏
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Thank you, again. This is something to think about. Enjoying the journey and not getting too hung up on the things I believe I should already have… I’ve lost my patience because I’m too stressed out and I want results as fast as possible. Ha ha. Wrong approach. Hm…. Enjoying the process. I could start by working on that.
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Society just created this standard but I don’t think it’s true. What’s special about 30 anyway? It’s JUST a number. Everyone’s life is different, so people would being their own pace. Yes, you can actually START living at 30. Even 35. No judgment.
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Thank you. I believe I just got caught in this cycle. Comparing myself with others, their achievements versus mine… It made me want more, but I feel the passing of time as a weight that’s slowly crushing me, making me believe that is too late. I should change my perspective. Just don’t know how to start.
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This is so relatable. Comparison is an easy trap to fall into. Even 18 year olds these days are trying so hard to “make it”.
Maybe we can’t completely stop ourselves from comparing. But we can notice when we’re doing it and stop ourselves. It’d take time to learn though.
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I used to think similar things. For a long time I also thought 30 would be it for me, that would be like the end of my life. Drifting away from my thirties towards my fourties now , I sometimes have the thoughts and feelings how I failed to have achieved anything really. I don’t own a house, I don’t even have a job or benefits or any form of money coming in right now, my relatioship is under pressure (very unexpected and not chosen by me) and I feel like I’m all back to zero. But that’s not why I write . I wanted to let you know that 30 is not too late to start living a life. Even if it seemed an endpoint for such a long time for me, I must admit that the best years of my life where from my thirties actually. Even if I still struggle, I had a few years with really beautiful and nice things happening. I am glad I experienced them and did not miss them. Even if I’m still struggling and feel like I’m again in a dead end street with no perspective again, it really can happen. Just like AP2 said, age is just a number. you put a lot of pressure on yourself with wanting to reach your goals as soon as possible. Every step towards them is a step closer. I hope you’l have a nice way towards them – because that’s also important 🙂
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Thank you very much for your encouragement. It really means a lot! I understand you’re going through some tough times also. It’s difficult when you find yourself at a dead end. Words are never good enough in a situation like this. But I’m sending all my best thoughts to you and, even though they aren’t helping much, you are not alone. Wish you all the best. Stay strong.
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