Since I quit my job I had my ups and downs. Now that I have the full day to myself, time passes differently. It feels like it’s been longer than 2 weeks since I last woke up in the morning and got ready for work. This whole time I tried to do as much as I could to stir me in the right direction. But I wanted fast results! I thought it’s not going to take me more than a few days to find a way to bring some income into the household. Ha ha. Silly me.
Not meeting this expectation made me crumble like a biscuit in a blender. I smoothied myself up and laid my torn up body under the covers. I kept asking myself why isn’t it working, what am I doing wrong? I am a failure, if I can’t find a solution faster my whole life will collapse, I will have to give up on so many things because I can’t afford them, and so on. On and on my mind kept twisting these thoughts. I felt unworthy, unmotivated, a total waste of space.
Then I thought: feeling this way wasn’t serving my purpose. If I continued like this and let myself fall deeper and deeper, chances are I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up too soon. Or at all. You know what got me out of bed? The god damn calendar! When I looked up this month and saw that it’s only been 15 days and when I realized how much I’ve learned in this time, I stopped feeling bad. I refocused and kept on doing what I started. More on that some other time.
So what helped me recenter myself? Changing perspectives? Taking a step back and analyzing the forest instead of looking at the trees? Taking responsibility and control of my own moods? All of them, I think.
You see, sometimes it all comes down to how you choose to feel. Many times it won’t work, but when it does, just take advantage of it and get yourself out of that damn pit! It’s not serving your purpose!
Until next time.