These past few days have been rough. The pressure of not having a steady, secure income is weighing on me. I know it’s only been less than a week, but having sent so many CVs and job applications, profiles made on 5 freelance websites, all with zero results, kind of brings my “enthusiasm” down.
Because I was living paycheck by paycheck, not having an active income is slowly crushing me. I feel tinier and tinier, I began walking on my tip toes around the house, speaking quietly as if to go unnoticed. I do have my savings and I believe they are enough to sustain me for a bit, but those money were put aside for travelling, for enjoying life, not for spending it to keep me alive.
As I said before, I’m the type of person who gets easily down. To bring my spirits back up, I need validation. The rejection I got a few days ago from a job that sparked my interest made me feel bad, but also hopeful because, at least, I got noticed and they had the decency to respond to me rather quickly. That’s what I want: a feedback, even if it’s a rejection.
I took this leap of faith because I don’t want to continue trading my time for money in a 9 to 5 job. There are too many things in this life that I want to learn and discover. My hometown doesn’t offer too many job opportunities to choose from, there is no diversity. I don’t want to work in a factory or be a saleswoman, when I know I can do better than this.
What I learned since I quit my job is that I should’ve focused into having more sources of income. Having only one (the 9 to 5 job) and losing it, got me more than a few steps back. Now I can’t progress until I find myself a sustainable way to make money. It kind of scares me to invest into learning classes or courses because what can I do with a certificate if I can’t find a job?
What’s even more pressuring is that people around me started to begin the conversation with: “How you’re doing? Still jobless?”. It petrifies me. It makes me want to shut down my phone, refuse to see or meet anybody.
Right now it is not the time to feel stuck. I need to channel my whole energy into finding a better way to support myself.
Any action is better than no action.
I don’t want to spiral down into a negative loop because that would make feel insecure about myself and I would waste time trying to keep me afloat instead of working towards my goals. And time definitely isn’t my friend now. I need to focus on myself and learn how to highlight my strengths and how to get noticed. I believe that as long as I keep moving I will, eventually, succeed.
The point is to keep going.