November’s end

Time continues to fly faster and faster as if yesterday never existed. I didn’t even have a chance to enjoy October, I don’t know where November went. I wanted to enjoy some time outside, walking around the city, spend some time in the fresh air, but my routine remained constant.

I needed some time alone, I needed to disconnect from the outer world and take a look at what’s inside my head. So, I went to take a bath. I put on a face mask, poured hot water in the tub with some salt, opened YouTube and chose Billy Joel – Vienna. And it hit me like a hurricane. It hit me so hard that I felt like I was dripping loneliness from every pore of my skin like it was poison. As soon as the song started, the tears washed away my face mask. And I felt so much sadness, so deeply hidden inside of me, that I felt it leaving trails all over me, inside and outside my body. It felt like pure sadness. And it hurt and hurt and I couldn’t stop it and all I knew was that it didn’t matter if I told anyone because this kind of sadness cannot be washed away by anything.

And I felt so alone and useless and all I wanted was to disappear, at least for a while…

One Comment Add yours

  1. Amorina Rose says:

    The problem is you can disconnect too much and it is hard to get back. You are right though, October came and went, November disappeared and December is flying.

    Liked by 1 person

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