Loneliness – a pain in the neck or a blessing?

Studies show that people who have many social connections are generally happier. There’s a natural longing for connecting with other people, especially surrounding ourselves with people sharing the same interests.

From the beginning of time we lived among others. It was essential for our survival, easier to protect and fight for our lives when we were together. Today this is not quite necessary anymore, but the need to be part of a group, of society, is still present. Some people are unable to function without daily human interactions and can go in a deep state of depression if this need isn’t fulfilled.

I believe mass-media is partly to blame because it created an unreal image of what means to be happy and successful. Not having friends or the inability to bond with others due to mental illness or other reasons, creates a feeling of loneliness and discontentment because we don’t conform to what society views as normal.

Feeling lonely means that something is missing. We feel a void inside ourselves and in order to be happy we need to fill it up, to entertain ourselves. I believe the pain of loneliness comes from clinging. We feel the need for companionship in order to be happy. But happiness is a state of mind, not something that relies on external stimuli. When we are happy with ourselves, we become less needy for people’s attention and approval. Solitude is extremely difficult for people who have no hobbies. The only way they can relax and have fun is by spending time with others. Being alone at home creates boredom, which leads to sadness and depression.

I believe we should learn to find contentment in solitude, learn to get in touch with ourselves, to improve ourselves, to fill that void inside of us with something meaningful. Think of how short this human life is. Why spend it in agony? I agree that some days solitude is bitter and we can do nothing else but let ourselves drown in that heavy, dark feeling of loneliness. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to fight it off, to keep our heads above the water and not let us sink in. Sometimes sinking in feels good, sometimes falling brings some kind of relief. But we should’t indulge in that. We’re missing out on so many things around us, there are so many things to discover.

I like being alone. My hobbies and favorite activities require solitude. I don’t know if I like the things I like because I tried not to sink in in agony or because this is who I am. There was a time in my childhood when I wanted friends and suffered for having none, so I started doing things on my own and I realized I liked it better than being with others. And now, I never get bored when I’m alone. I always have something to read, write, paint, play video games, try new things in the kitchen, play with my cats, exercise, clean the house, and so on. I’m a loner. Mostly, I see being around people as a waste of time.

But I love traveling too and I know that staying inside narrows my world. I have a bunch of good friends now with whom I can have fun and go places and I’m really grateful for that. They really are amazing people. Even so, I still cherish my time alone more.

I used to question my reason for being alive, still am. I don’t know if we’re just a biological accident or there’s something more. I used to give up and stay in bed for weeks because I felt life was useless, because nothing made sense, because we are going to die anyway. So, I figured, I should try and find some balance inside myself. Life is short, why not make the most of it if I’m still here anyway?

Would you rather go down calm, content, pleased with yourself or tormented, scared and unhappy?

After all, we all die alone.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Amorina Rose says:

    What a lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. moonraven44 says:

      Thank you. 😊

      Like

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