A walk to a dead past

Today he spoke. Said that he’s tired of the world around him, with all “our” rules and crappy decisions. I’ve heard all this before. And just like back then, it made me see how blind I’ve become, how narrow-minded, how I resist and I refuse to learn anything. Just because my expectations aren’t met. Just because I don’t see the point anymore. I’m completely dead inside. All that I was or ever dreamed of being has vanished. I’ve become exactly what I used to hate. Plastic. Plasticine. I  gave up on everything. I am currently walking the same old, decayed path everyone has walked on since the beginning of time. 

Writing, painting, riding a motorcycle, traveling. Everything is out of my reach. I was more concerned with property. How and who belongs to me, who should I belong to. Trying to control everything made me lose everything. My liquid, hot blood became concrete. My thoughts materialized into a thick layer of poison around my body. I’ve put shackles even around my own neck. 

When did it all start? What was the first mistake I’ve made that led me on this path? 

But most important… What is that shadow hovering over me, forever bound to me?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Eliza says:

    Really relatable. Thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hairstyles says:

    very good post, i actually love this web site, keep on it

    Like

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